Insights and Healing with Patrick Moore


Clothed Massage Resolves Tension and Reduces Mischief (book excerpt)
March 29, 2018, 11:03 pm
Filed under: Clothed Massage, essence, massage

Three Parts of the Book Focus on Three Aspects of Safety

(this is an excerpt from the opening of my new book in progress. Please leave comments at the bottom, thanks.)

Clothing increases safety, in numerous ways. This is the message of Part One of the book.

I know clothing increases therapeutic effectiveness because I can feel the difference. I have done thousands of massages the Swedish way (on bare skin) and through clothing. Muscles begin to resolve tension quicker, muscles resolve a greater percentage of their tension, and more muscles in more regions of the body resolve tension when the person is clothed. Part One explains a dozen ways the brain feels safer to let down its guard, while the person is clothed. The therapist also feels safer. When the therapist feels safer, therapy is more effective.

Part One finishes with some practical benefits of clothed massage. The absence of massage oil keeps the clinic much cleaner and saves laundry. Far less privacy is required which may saves space and definitely saves time, because there is no wasted time as people disrobe and dress again. Advertising your massage business as clothed-only may draw thousands of new customers who have never dared to receive massage before, who did not want to be told to take their clothes off to receive therapy.

Part Two of this book explains the minimum you need to do to touch muscles in a way that helps the brain resolve its tensions. When the brain reduces the voltage to the muscle, the muscle palpably softens. I wish I had been taught this stuff in massage school! The technique is far simpler than you may think. Many people are already doing this, they just don’t have the language yet to explain what they are doing. Knowing how muscles become tense, and how they relax, dramatically increases your effectiveness. Too many bodywork methods seem mysterious in how they work, or downright unbelievable. You must be able to explain to recipients exactly how your technique leads to the resolution of tensions. The person’s subconscious brain won’t feel safe enough to let down its guarding, without a plausible explanation of how it will benefit the person.

Part Three explains the minimum you need to be so that people’s brains will feel safe letting down their guarding in your presence. Things like equal-power relationship and qualities you are being like patient, nonjudgmental and curious, make all the difference. Again this is simpler than you might think. It is actually more difficult to explain in words, than it is to be. I’d like you to know how being nonjudgmental, for example, leads to muscles relaxing. Hint: the person feels much safer when she knows she is not being judged.

What’s In The Book? What’s Not?

The rule for this book is, if it’s in here, I believe you need to know it in order to thrive in the business of clothed massage, either as an individual therapist or as a clinic manager.

What’s not in the book? I leave out advanced techniques because you don’t need them. The simplest techniques work perfectly, when you are consistently coming from the right place . What is the right place? That is covered.

Because I don’t like to rehash what’s in other books, this book will be on the short side. I hope you see the value of my leaving out what you don’t need.

 

Is Clothed Massage Merely a Second-Rate Consolation?

I have never seen clothed massage offered on any menu of services besides my own.

Clothed massage is not taught in massage school. The closest thing offered is an elective class in chair massage, which is done through clothing. Most therapists I know who offer chair massage offer it as a sort of free sample, to get people to make an appointment for the real thing–bare skin massage. Or if someone is too modest to take off her clothes, you might agree to give her at least something, since she won’t commit to the real thing. Therapists or clinics might occasionally condescend to allow clothing in isolated instances, when the recipient is too modest, resistant or prudish.

I see it the other way round. I believe muscles relax better when the recipient is clothed. I see clothed massage as the real thing and bare skin massage as second-best. Modesty helps the brain feel safer and the brain’s safety should be our first concern, if we consider ourselves therapists.

My intention for this book is that every person, in every city, wanting therapy to resolve their muscle tension, would have the option of remaining clothed during every session. If it works as well or better than the old way, why not offer clothed massage on your menu of services?

Safety First

When a person feels safe, her nervous system cooperates with therapists and activates all her body’s healing abilities. When she questions her safety, her nervous system deactivates healing processes and activates defense, offense and diversion. In particular, when a person questions her safety, her brain sends extra electricity to her muscles, which contracts or tenses the muscles so they become harder, less flexible and sore. Each muscle that is tense today, was made tense deliberately by the brain quite a while ago, based on a particular interpretation she made regarding her safety. The brain does this to protect or guard her from risks. Her brain has not yet felt safe enough to resolve that guarding.

How Safe is Massage Therapy Currently?

Massage therapy is an unusual form of therapy.

The Masseur shows the recipient into the private room with a bed, complete with sheets and covers. There are no windows or if there are, nobody can see in. The recipient is instructed to take off her clothes and get between the sheets. He steps out and closes the door while she takes off her clothes and climbs onto the bed nude, then covers herself with the top sheet. Then he knocks and comes in. If she understood him correctly she will be lying between the sheets, so that her nudity is covered by the top sheet and perhaps a blanket. If she misunderstood she may be lying nude on top of both sheets, so he sees her nudity when she walks in. He closes the door behind him. They will be alone in the closed room for an hour. The room has dim lighting, nice music playing, perhaps with candles lit or scent diffusers for mood. Before the touching even begins, this form of therapy is unlike any other form of therapy. Or is it therapy?

For therapy to occur, the subconscious brain must feel safe enough to revisit old reactions and reconsider or reinterpret them in a more enlightened way. How safe does her brain feel, right now, to do this? Or does she wonder if he has something else on his mind? Does he? Does she?

Safety is important for all forms of therapy, in order to help the person’s brain or mind to make progress toward the therapeutic goals. Safety may be doubly important when the therapist will touch the recipient. The importance of safety may be four times as important, when the recipient will be nude during the touch. If the recipient (or the giver) created a strong negative interpretation during the attachment phase of childhood with a parent or caregiver, the safety required during a touch-therapy that occurs while the recipient is nude, doubles again to eight times more safety necessary… (please leave comments, thanks)

sidelying-lower-trapezius

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Sunday Discovery Workshops

balance DSC_6715

 .. it is important to stay balanced …

Sunday Workshop Series

for Personal Growth, Relationship and Life

These are workshops I have taught for years to therapists for their continuing education. Certain of my workshops are just as meaningful to non-therapists, so I have scheduled these titles for therapists on Sundays and (space permitting) inviting non-therapists to also attend.

To sign up for the Personal Discovery Workshops Newsletter, please use this link: http://eepurl.com/bnuRZ9

  • Location: Patrick Moore Home Office near Tohono Chul Park, near Oracle Road and Ina, NW Tucson, AZ 85704
  • Register by contacting Patrick: Contact Me
  • Class size: 1-10 students.
  • Half-price for non-therapists (except Reiki). (Prices for therapists are higher because for them I must produce handouts, certificates, take attendance, keep records and report to state and national authorities.)
  • Workshop Style: new information, nonjudgmental, safe environment. Prepare to be challenged compassionately and to experience different perspectives. All workshops are partially improvised to respond to those present, to be relevant for your current interests and needs. Stimulates curiosity, presence, vulnerability and compassion.

JUNE 2017

Sunday, June 25, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Equal-Power Partnerships at Work and Home

$60.00 for non-therapists ($120.00 for therapists).

When I was young my Dad always told me, for any two people, one will be dominant. He believed this was true in work (he was a construction worker) and in relationships with women. As an adult I have learned differently. In this workshop we explore how we can be equal with others. This is helpful both for those times we overexert our power and underexert. A relationship with two equals is best described as a partnership. The workshop is improvised to respond to those present, to be relevant for your current interests and needs.

JULY 2017

Sunday, July 9, 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Reiki Level One (Shoden) Reiki Practitioner I

Reiki (lecture, hands-on, attunement)

$150.00, or take both Reiki I and II on successive Sundays for $325.00 (you save $75.00)

Reiki is a method that activates, or gives you a shortcut, to directing energy–or, the stuff our universe is made of. Reiki is a compassionate method for healing, resolving, embracing and transforming issues and ailments. Reiki is equally effective for oneself, to empower goals, to finesse problems, to learn new skills, resume arrested development, for personal discovery and spiritual growth.

Sunday, July 16, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Reiki Level Two (Okuden) Reiki Practitioner II

Reiki (lecture, hands-on, hands-above, attunement)

$250.00, or take both Reiki I and II on successive Sundays for $325.00 (you save $75.00)

Includes instructions how to direct energy (or, the stuff our universe is made of) in the past, future and incrementally over any span of time. For those, like me, interested in the fabric of the universe, this is the fun part!

Sunday, July 30, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Responding, Not Reacting – Being Nonjudgmental with Others and Yourself

$60.00 ($120.00 for therapists)

Nobody is perfect. We all react. Still, we may learn to redirect our reactions quickly, so that we don’t blast others, behave impulsively and suffer unnecessary consequences. This is what Mr. Rogers was talking about in his video to congress https://youtu.be/fKy7ljRr0AA?t=4m10s when he tells the lyrics to a song for children about restraining one’s reactions. What can we do instead of reacting? Responding! The alternatives to reacting may include: humor (non-sarcastic), play, funny gestures, expressions, vocalizations or movements, loving, nurturing, improvising, creativity, sharing, vulnerability, patience, presence and compassion. In this workshop we will practice with partners and discuss relevant scenarios, in a fun way.

AUGUST 2017

Sunday, August 13, 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Holistic Healing – a Model of Body & Mind as attributes of Essence

$50.00 ($100.00 for therapists)

Most of us know someone, or perhaps ourselves, who has faced an illness or behavior that threatens losses of functions, abilities, relationships or life itself. Facing such a harsh scene, many people suddenly question the meaning of life. Who are we? Why am I here? And this can be a good thing, if we engage these questions with curiosity, because the answers are often enlightening, fulfilling and empowering. Each person’s true essence is fully capable, and willing to embrace any challenge this world (or this body) throws at us. In this workshop we discuss life, death and health in a fun, fascinating light.

Sunday, August 27, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Expectations – Theirs and Yours

$60.00 ($120.00 for therapists)

What an enlightening topic: to understand how many of our conflicts in life arise from unmet expectations. We drive ourselves crazy when we expect things of others they do not do, when we expect things of ourselves we do not do, and when others expect things of us we do not want to do! What’s the cure? It doesn’t take long to begin adjusting our expectations to be more realistic, and to begin negotiating kindly with others regarding their expectations of us.

SEPTEMBER 2017

Sunday, September 10, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Melting Muscles Basic – Prone (hands-on-body, back massage, clothed)

$80.50 ($161.00 for therapists)

I have taught this method to about a thousand therapists, and a few dozen non-therapists. It is easy to learn and seems like magic when you feel a muscle melting under your hand. You will be receiving as much muscle-melting as you give. You will learn to relax about 15 muscles on the back of the body. Massage tables are provided. Wear sweats, pajamas or yoga clothing as we will be working through clothing (no jeans).

 

Sunday, September 24, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Clothed Massage Relaxes Muscles Better

$69.00 ($138.00 for therapists) Some Hands-On. Wear loose or stretchy clothing, no jeans.

In this workshop we do some hands-on-body “melting muscles” through clothing, with the recipient face-up on massage tables. We also discuss how and why muscles relax better when the recipient is clothed. If you be interested in starting a clothed-massage clinic, on the model of a network-chiropractic clinic, then this workshop is for you. If you are simply curious about how muscles feel safe and relax, and want to give and receive some nurturing treatment, this workshop is also for you.

OCTOBER 2017

Sunday, October 1, 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Activating Your Intuition  (partner exercises and discussion)

$57.50 ($115.00 for therapists)

Intuition is not magical, it is simply enhanced perception. This workshop is less about how intuition works, and more about practicing and improving our skills. Since intuition is natural, we don’t have to learn how to do it, only to recall how to do it. Once we are doing it we practice turning it off again, so that we become clearer about how to activate and deactivate intuition. Fun exercises including games, followed by discussion.

Sunday, October 15, 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

How Energy Draws Clients to your Business

$50 ($100.00 for therapists), category: Business/Marketing, Group Discussion.

Does your job rely at all on people being satisfied by what you do? Are you an artist, writer or musician? Did you know that your energy has a lot to do with how others will respond to your services and offerings? This workshop discusses the ways energy (or, the stuff this universe is made of) influences others and ourselves, and how we influence energy with our thoughts, interpretations and behaviors.

Sunday, October 29, 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Exercising Naturally – how Oxygen Decreases Muscle Soreness, Improves Health & Mood

$50 ($100.00 for therapists)

We start the day with a one-hour walk (or longer depending on participants) during which we begin to discuss how and why exercise benefits us so much. The emphasis is on creating a healthy relationship with exercise, that develops and grows more friendly over a lifetime.

NOVEMBER 2017

Sunday, November 12, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

The Philosophy of Ethics from Plato to Spinoza  

$60.00 ($120.00 for therapists)

A fun way for professionals to get their “professional ethics” hours.

Also a fun way to learn about the history of ethics. Why think of others? Why not just take every advantage you can? Learn how Plato, Boethius and others answered these questions and see if their answers make any sense to you. While we are at it, we may learn “how to make life worth living.”

Sunday, November 26, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Breathing Naturally – from Deliberate Exhalation to Zen Meditation

$60.00 ($120.00 for therapists)

Somehow, humans have forgotten the natural way to breathe that we did as children. Because we avoid exhaling, our blood becomes more acidic, we age faster, are more grumpy and sore. First we learn to deliberately exhale a little more, then we learn how to breathe more and more naturally, without controlling. You will also learn how gas exchanges at the lungs and how oxygen is transported throughout your body. With more oxygen you will be more alert, calmer, clearer, with more energy, vitality and endurance.

DECEMBER 2017

Sunday, December 3, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Muscle Guarding as Communication – Learning the Nonverbal Language of Muscles

       The Muscle Whisperer Class

$60.00 ($120.00 for therapists)

Have you seen the movie, The Horse Whisperer? Have you seen The Truth about Cats & Dogs? How would you like to understand the language of human muscles? How would you like to talk directly with the subconscious, so that you can figure out why it is making the muscles achey, tight & sore? What if you could speak to the muscles in their own language, so they would agree to relax and play nice?

Sunday & Monday, December 10 & 11, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (one hour break for lunch)

Reiki Level Three (Shinpiden or Shinpiden) Reiki Master PLUS Reiki Teacher Skills – How to Maximize Your Reiki Students’ Confidence and Effectiveness (Teacher Training)

Reiki + Teacher Training (lecture, hands-above, attunement, discussion)

6 + 6 = 12 Live Hours

$600.00 (half-financial aid available for one participant in this class)

Registration deadline Sunday, December 3.

2018 (DATES NOT YET SCHEDULED):

Melting Muscles Theory – How and Why do Muscles Melt? (Muscle Physiology / Therapeutic Relationship)

Therapeutic Massage (group discussion)

5 Live Hours, $100.00 (25% off, when paid in full, $75.00, by

Mirror Neurons – Using Clients’ Mirroring Tendency to Connect with their Tension and Lead Them to Relax (Research)

Research (group discussion)

5 Live Hours

 

Is there a topic you would like to learn more about? Please let me know

Contact Me

Warmly,

Patrick

 



Clothed Massage as a Solution to the Sexualizaton of Massage
May 1, 2014, 3:58 pm
Filed under: massage

There was a news story in Oro Valley, AZ last week that a massage clinic had been busted for prostitution. I was interviewed on the radio this morning, regarding prostitution and massage. It is likely to be broadcast Friday or Monday on KFMA, during Fook and Mishell Livio show, 6-10 am. I will post the link when it becomes available.

After the interview it occurred to me that people today are curious about the “happy ending,” which is when a man is given a sexual climax while he is on a massage table. I believe the term, happy ending, was first popularized on the TV show, Friends. I admit the term is funny. Since that time, the media has emphasized how massage is often an avenue for men to pay for a sexual climax. I have noticed that this is a frequent topic in comedy, and even one of our local improv troupes, during their careers game, regularly makes fun of massage therapy as an avenue for sex. What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word, massage?

What the media has not told you is, it is illegal for a licensed massage therapist to touch a recipient’s genitals, or even to have a sexual intent. The idea of a happy ending may make good comedy, but in actuality it is a serious offense. Did you know that a “happy ending,” is illegal? Did you know both the giver and recipient can be arrested? Did you know that if there is even suspicion that a therapist has offered this service, that his or her license could be revoked, ending his or her career? Even in Las Vegas, NV and Vancouver B.C., where prostitution is legal, it is still illegal for massage therapists to give a sexual massage.

In addition to illegality, it is horrifying for therapists to be “propositioned” by men on the massage table. Massage schools do nothing to prepare therapists for how embarrassing this will be, and it is bound to happen to all therapists. In my 20 years, I would estimate 20-30 men lying nude under a sheet on my massage table have propositioned me or hinted they expected a hand job.

When I talked with my wife about it, after the interview, she was surprised to hear that it is the customers who solicit therapists. She had assumed there were “bad” therapists who enticed unwilling customers into sex. My experience, and having spoken with many other therapists, is that it is the customers who initiate hints of a sexual massage, and erections that show their expectation. Even after the therapist clearly communicates that absolutely no sexual massage will occur, these male customers continue hinting and insinuating, pleading and attempting to persuade, which can make for an unbearable hour for the therapist. For we are not trained by our schools to simply end the session. Therapists are afraid to end the sessions. What would I tell my boss? So you just continue massaging around the erection, that is like an elephant in the room.

The situation seems to be getting worse rather than better, and I imagine some of that is because of how funny it is for comedy shows and other media to make jokes about the situation.

But the media is not the whole problem, or even the majority of the problem. There are two other factors that are making this situation worse.

A second cause is, there really are massage therapists, even licensed ones, who do offer “hand jobs” for cash tips during massage. They often do this even at upscale clinics, spas and resorts, unknown to their bosses. This is sort of like feeding bears picnic baskets. Or feeding mountain lions bighorn sheep. Once a mountain lion in the Catalinas here in Tucson has tasted endangered bighorn sheep, that mountain lion will continue killing bighorn sheep. Arizona game and fish then goes up to find and shoot the offending mountain lion, so it does not continue the behavior. The same is true of horny men. Once a man has once paid extra to get a hand job (remember, even suggesting this is a crime), and received his happy ending, that man will continue to expect a happy ending of every massage therapist forever, just like a bear or mountain lion expects to be fed. You can’t shoot the offending humans and I am not proposing that. The cause of this situation is as much the men who solicit therapists, as it is the few therapists who actually offer this illegal service. A few ruin it for everyone.

Prostitution has been around for thousands of years and is not going to disappear. The thing that is new is, prostitution in a massage room is much safer for both the giver and recipient. The giver has more power and is less likely to be harmed, than were he or she in a hotel, or walking the streets, for example. Both are less likely to be discovered and arrested. I don’t know if there is a way, now that both the givers and recipients have discovered this safe haven, for the practice of hand jobs to ever be separated from legitimate massage.

This is unfortunate for several reasons. People with ailments, aches, stresses and tensions, may fear to try massage therapy because of the media and actual newspaper reports of clinics being busted. So people who really need the therapy, won’t get it. Another unfortunate effect of the sexualization of massage is, new therapists will quickly leave the profession. Therapists who are more sensitive, easily offended or embarrassed, after spending all that money on a year of massage school, may find that actually being propositioned is so horrifying that they have to leave the profession during their first month of practice.

The third factor that contributes to the sexualization of massage may surprise you. It is actually an unfortunate effect of well-meaning therapists. During Swedish massage (which is massage applied to the bare skin with oil or lotion) the sensations sometimes feel.. well, sensual. Swedish massage is designed to be a nurturing experience, similar to a mother nurturing her baby. But people have varied touch histories, and some part of the population of recipients do not experience hands on their skin as nurturing, but sexual. A recipient receiving his or her first massage, may feel a little turned on.

However, one thing massage schools teach, that is completely wrong, is, “It is natural for a man to get an erection during massage.” While a man may feel the first hints of arousal, a man who does not want to have a sexual massage has options to prevent himself from getting a full erection. The first is to leave his underwear on. He can also position his parts in a way that it would be more difficult for him to become erect. A third thing he can do is to flip over onto his belly, in a way that prevents erection. A fourth thing he can do is ask to end the session. Being a male with a healthy libido, I can safely say that erection is entirely preventable. Yes, during his first massage he may get aroused accidentally, but he has options before it becomes a full erection that will embarrass his therapist. If that man receives any more massages in his lifetime, and gets a full erection, it is because he intended in advance to get a full erection. He hopes that the visible presence of his erection under the sheet will make the therapist feel it is his or her duty then, to “take care of it.” The big lie is, that it is the therapist’s fault it happened, and now it is the therapist’s responsibility to finish the job. No. It is the man’s fault. The erection is no accident. He planned it that way. If I go to receive a massage and I notice myself even mildly attracted to the therapist, I leave my underwear on. If I were to feel aroused during a massage I would turn over. I would do anything, even end the massage, in order to prevent the therapist from feeling humiliated, or worry her career was at risk. I feel that exposing myself to a therapist, even through a sheet, would be a horrible thing to do to someone.

Can the massage profession cope with the trend to sexualize massage? I am not sure that it can. Unless..

Clothed Massage Ends the Sexualization of Massage

About four years ago I began telling new people that they will remain fully clothed during the massage. I tell them this in advance. I work on muscles by pressing through clothing. I have found that the clothing in no way reduces the effectiveness. In fact, I believe muscles relax better when the skin is not stimulated, because the recipient’s brain is no longer distracted by all that skin sensation. The brain can focus purely on the muscle sensation, and resolve the muscle tension. This is the message of my eBook, Clothed Massage, available at Amazon. Since I have started offering only clothed massage, I have had zero people on my table proposition me for sex.

I believe clothed massage is the best hope for therapeutic massage to distinguish itself from an increasing sexual expectation of massage. What do you think?

Certainly those therapists who prefer to give nude Swedish massage have a right to continue doing that. I hope they do not mind that they will regularly have sneaky men on their table wanting sex.

If you have any comments on the interview (if you heard it), or comments on this article, please leave comments. If you disagree, please share your perspective. If you have questions, please write them here and I will respond.